Feeling lonely is an increasingly pressing issue in contemporary society. Recently, I’ve been reading Aimée Lutkin's "The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search for Love Is Broken: A Memoir." The author discusses the UK’s appointment of its first Minister for Loneliness in 2018, aiming to address loneliness as a public issue. Today, let’s talk about the nature of loneliness and trust.
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Over the past year, I have been grappling with loneliness myself. From Sherry Turkle's "Alone Together" and "Reclaiming Conversation," to Bella DePaulo's "Singled Out" and Rebecca Traister's "All the Single Ladies." Through reading these books, I’ve been reflecting on how to "live well alone" in modern society.
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One of my New Year’s resolutions is to embrace solitude and self-care. I’ve learned that I exist in different forms in other people's lives, and others exist in mine in various ways. Therefore, I no longer feel lonely just because no one is around, nor do I force myself to always be surrounded by people to avoid loneliness. Feeling lonely is never about whether someone is physically present.
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Additionally, I’ve resolved to let fate be fate. I won’t force myself in situations where I don’t need to, nor will I pressure myself to meet others’ expectations. I won’t agree to things just to leave a good impression if I can’t genuinely commit. Whatever the circumstance, I’ll let relationships unfold naturally.
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Finally, I accept myself as I am now, without overanalyzing or interpreting too much. Let life speak for itself rather than trying to constantly interpret it. This is my personal resolution, and I continuously reaffirm that friendships, not just romantic relationships, are crucial. Building trust with others is one way to avoid losing a sense of purpose in life.
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How do you deal with loneliness? Remember, loneliness isn’t about having a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, or what kind of family or marital relationships you have. It’s about the comfort and trust in those relationships. And that comfort is closely tied to how we manage our self-relations.
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