Have you ever forgiven someone who hurt you deeply? Or perhaps, is there someone in your life with whom you had an unpleasant past—whether it was a quarrel or a broken relationship—that still makes your heart feel heavy when you think about it? This kind of pain isn’t something that can be easily eased by a few words from others. Today, let’s talk about forgiveness.


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What is the opposite of love? Is it hate? Obviously not. When you no longer love someone, it doesn’t mean you hate them. Similarly, when you no longer hate someone, it doesn’t mean you’ve come to love them. Often, we just let our feelings settle into a neutral state, somewhere between love and hate. To me, true forgiveness isn’t love—it’s not hating, or even, not caring.


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Love and hate are both intense emotions, and to me, letting go means releasing these strong feelings and attachments. The opposite of love and hate is the same—it's indifference. Indifference means that whatever changes occur in that person’s life no longer affect yours, or even if they do, you simply don’t care anymore.


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So, for me, forgiveness doesn’t mean the person has become better, or that they must change before I can forgive them. Forgiveness is about me no longer caring. Whether they’ve become a better person or remain the same as when I left them, whether our unresolved issues are still there, has nothing to do with forgiveness. Forgiveness is simply my decision to practice not caring, and only I can make that happen.


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This is why when someone says, "That person has already reflected on their actions," or "They are not the same as they were," it doesn’t affect whether I choose to forgive them. Because even if they have reflected or changed, the past events still happened, and the harm still exists. Maybe their change will make it easier for me to stop caring about these things or this person, but that’s never a reason why I have to forgive someone.


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So, even if they are still the same person, without apology or compensation, it doesn’t mean I can’t forgive them. I forgive them not because I’m too soft-hearted, but because I genuinely no longer care. No matter who they become, what happens to our relationship, or how our lives turn out after this, I don’t care anymore. And because I don’t care, I gradually forgive, or perhaps, whether I forgive or not doesn’t even matter to me anymore.


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